BDSM

Are you curious about BDSM? Would you like to explore its practices in a session, whether it’s in Madrid or any other location in Spain? Would you like to advance in any specific discipline? Are you simply looking to expand your knowledge of BDSM practices and subculture? Welcome to Explora el Deseo. My name is Caroline Caos F, and here you can embark on a journey to learn about this exciting lifestyle or safely delve into those fantasies that have been swirling in your mind for a while and open yourself up to the thrilling world of BDSM, with discretion, pleasure, fun, and security.

I invite you to read this page for more information about BDSM if you’re just starting out or to directly access the questionnaire to schedule a session if you already know what you’re looking for. You’ll also find experiences and fantasies to enjoy a unique session.

What does BDSM involve?

You may be quite familiar with the term, or on the other hand, you may have heard it in movies or novels and wonder what it means. The most basic thing you should know is that BDSM is an acronym that refers to various practices or games, generally of a sexual nature: Bondage, Discipline, Dominance, Submission, Sadism, and Masochism. These practices, in turn, form a subculture or community and are a substantial part of what we call “alternative erotics.”

Let’s briefly explore each of them individually:

Bondage and Discipline

A set of practices that involve restricting movement (such as using handcuffs or ropes) for erotic, sensory, or aesthetic purposes, which can be done to a partner or oneself. Although we often think of ropes when we hear the term, there are numerous other ways to practice bondage that do not involve this specific implement. Additionally, the term “bondage” also refers to the asymmetric relationship of servitude or slavery, although we commonly use it in the former sense.

Discipline, on the other hand, is closely related to the Victorian era and its infamous punishments in schools. It refers to the rules and behaviors used in BDSM in the form of norms, protocols, and punishments that both the Dominant and submissive parties adopt, historically with the Dominant taking on the role of a teacher.

Dominance and submission

Dominance and submission (D/s) practices involve the exchange of power between individuals in a couple or group setting. The Dominant takes control and makes decisions, while the submissive partner submits to their will, always within the boundaries that have been previously negotiated and with safety protocols in place to ensure clear communication and the ability to halt the action at any time. The term “Femdom” refers to a relationship where the woman assumes the Dominant role, and the man takes on the submissive one. Finally, individuals who engage in both Dominant and submissive roles are commonly referred to as switches.

Sadism and Masochism

Sadism and masochism (S/M) practices are erotic practices or games where the sadistic partner derives pleasure from inflicting pain, discomfort, or humiliation upon the masochistic partner, who enjoys receiving it. All of this is always within a safe and consensual framework, with the central pillar being consent, and the ultimate goal being mutual pleasure within a sexual context.

Do not you find what you are looking for? Make your proposal…

If you are not convinced by any of the services I offer… Send me a proposal! I will be happy to assess it and carry it out if it fits with my wishes.

BDSM practices in Madrid

If you’re interested in having a BDSM encounter or session, you’ve come to the right place. I will guide you whether you’re just starting out or if you’re an experienced submissive looking to continue exploring and advancing. On this website, you’ll see that I specialize in various practices, but you’ll also notice that you’re dealing with someone who can provide guidance if you’re taking your first steps.

As a professional, I believe it’s crucial to provide a safe and respectful space while keeping the focus on sensuality and placing your fantasies at the center.

The sessions take place in Madrid, although I also visit Barcelona and Switzerland several times a year. However, I have the ability to travel both nationally and internationally, so we can meet in different cities in Spain and around the world. To make arrangements for this, visit the Travel page and make a proposal to have me visit your city for a few days. Fill out the questionnaire to schedule a session, and I will get in touch with you as soon as possible.

What type of BDSM practices can you engage in?

Within a BDSM session, the variety of practices that can be performed is infinite. Some of the most common ones include spanking, bondage, sensory deprivation, or worship, among others. If you’re not sure what you enjoy, the questionnaire will guide you through the different practices.

In my case, there are many types of sessions that I enjoy. However, over the years, I have observed that this enjoyment doesn’t always correspond to fixed practices. It also depends on the connection with the other person, finding more pleasure in certain practices with some individuals and others with different ones. However, objectification, fetishism, erotic Domination with a strong component of tease and denial and JOI (Jerk Off Instruction), sensory deprivation, and use and abuse games (consensual) are currently my main areas of interest. If you want to know more about my current main interests, respectfully ask once I have responded to your questionnaire.

Limits

If you are seeking a particularly sadistic or humiliation-focused Dominatrix, it is unlikely that we will be a good fit for each other. However, please fill out the questionnaire, and if I determine that our interests have limited compatibility, I will gladly recommend other professionals who may provide experiences tailored to your specific profile.

Immovable limits:

No conventional sex in the sessions (penetration, oral sex etc.).
Blackmail
Naked facesitting

Limits:

Extreme humiliation
Extreme pain
Slavery

Is it safe to have a BDSM session?

There are numerous practices in BDSM that involve physical, psychological, or emotional risk. Denying the risk of certain practices can lead us into reckless situations where we are unable to control the consequences of what we are doing. However, the role of a professional Dominatrix should involve an added level of experience, control over the materials and techniques used, very strict hygiene measures, and care before, during, and after the session. Therefore, a BDSM session can be very safe if both parties implement necessary measures individually (self-care and care towards the other person) and collectively (communication, safety protocols, etc.).

How to know what I want in a BDSM session?

First and foremost, it’s important to know oneself: understanding our own bodies, listening to our fantasies, and being able to recognize what generates interest and what makes us feel uncomfortable. In the beginning, it can be a bit complicated, which is why tests or questionnaires are great tools to start that journey. If you want to participate in a session, you can directly approach me and request a copy if you wish to keep it. Here are two additional resources that can help you define your preferences, inclinations, limits, and needs within the sexual and kink realm: The first one is bdsmtest, which is well-known within the community. The second resource was developed by the Sexological School. It is comprehensive and focused on sessions.

How to establish limits and negotiate BDSM scenes?

To establish limits, the most important thing is, as we have already discussed, knowing oneself. In my sessions, I do not accept submissives or individuals who claim to have no limits or do not want to use a safe word because that poses a risk for both that person and myself. Communication is fundamental, and therefore, the pre-session conversation is crucial to discuss preferences, expectations, frames of meaning, care, and limits. If necessary, a test or questionnaire can be used as a reference. And it is vital to always maintain an attitude of active listening. Remember that consent can be revoked at any time, and do not assume that a desire expressed on one occasion automatically implies the same desire on another day.

What are the safety rules in BDSM and within sessions?

In our sessions, we have different safety protocols in place. The first one is always the questionnaire and pre-session communication, where the foundations are established and limits are clearly defined. During the session, we use two safe words, two safety gestures, and the traffic light system to indicate how you are doing (everything is fine; the intensity has increased but I can still handle it; close to using the safe word). This is always complemented with constant communication.

How to address or refer to a Dominatrix you just met?

The most important thing to know is that there is no general rule that pleases all Dominatrixes. Each one prefers to be addressed in a specific way, so the best thing you can do is ask. However, it is advisable to refrain from using certain terms unless explicitly instructed otherwise. For example, “My Mistress” is a way os referring that she should grant you, and it signifies an established relationship. Any Dominatrix you encounter is not automatically your “Ama”, and she won’t be until a bond is formed and a relationship of trust is established where you earn the right to call her by that title. “Señora” “Mistress,”, “Goddess” “Domina” or “Dominatrix” are some of the terms that you could use, but again, it’s best to ask with respect and politeness.

Does BDSM always involve pain or extreme submission?

Sometimes we confuse BDSM with practices of sadism, masochism, or humiliation, but that is far from the truth. It is possible to have highly intense BDSM sessions without involving any pain. Some individuals reach subspace or the state of submission through sexual fetishes (such as foot fetish, latex fetish, armpit fetish, etc.), while others prefer bondage games without pain, erotic domination, or techniques of soft Domination. Once again, clear communication remains of utmost importance when discussing one’s experiences, desires, and expectations.

Do you perform all the sessions proposed to you?

No, I do not accept every session that is proposed to me. Part of doing good work and being professional is knowing how to say no. There are sessions that fall outside of my area of expertise and I may not be able to perform them due to technical reasons, while others may simply not align with my desires. In either case, I can always recommend another professional who may be able to fulfill those specific requests. Therefore, if I agree to perform a session, you can be sure that I have a genuine interest in it.

Where can I find communities or events related to BDSM?

If you want to get involved in the BDSM or kink community and attend events, workshops, or gatherings but don’t know how, the easiest way is to join the social network FetLife. You can create a profile and go to the “Events” tab to find all the activities and meetings taking place in your city.

What does BDSM involve?

Bondage and Discipline

Dominance and submission

Sadism and Masochism

Do not you find what you are looking for? Make your proposal…

BDSM practices in Madrid

What type of BDSM practices can you engage in?

Limits

Other experiencies...

Strap-on

Latex

Tickling

Trampling

Q&A

Is it safe to have a BDSM session?

How to know what I want in a BDSM session?

How to establish limits and negotiate BDSM scenes?

What are the safety rules in BDSM and within sessions?

How to address or refer to a Dominatrix you just met?

Does BDSM always involve pain or extreme submission?

Do you perform all the sessions proposed to you?

Where can I find communities or events related to BDSM?